Thursday, March 3, 2011

Messenger of DEATH

NOTE: This is the first post in a long line of posts to come. Some will be from last semester but don’t be confused…

Friday night was fantastic. The girls and I heard a rumor that America’s favorite pastime, beer pong, was setup in Pollock Halls. We didn’t know where so after some wandering, we stopped fighting the urge to celebrate. This involved parking ourselves in the hall of an unsuspecting dorm and drinking in the products of our hard work. Eventually, we found the elusive room. The rest of the night is summed up in these three words: drinking, dancing, dudes.

Unfortunately, Saturday came with the typical hangover satiated with a run to Tesco for delicious breakfast foods. To celebrate surviving exams (and the night before), the flatmates and I embarked on a journey…a journey through Middle Earth. That’s right, we watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I vaguely remember seeing them for the first time when my youthful self couldn’t follow a three hour movie at midnight. Now, I have been re-enlightened to awesome-ness that is LOTR. Favorite character? The Ents. Trees that can save their own arses would be extremely helpful to the present Green movement.

Sunday taunted me with the second dreaded Anatomy Lab Notebook. Yes, I put the entire thing off. Yes, I still rocked it. Some intense procrastination was involved, including a maiden voyage on the Unsinkable-the Last Word in Luxury-the Titanic! First time, I watched this movie was the night Princess Diana died. That night also marked my love affair with Leo. He and Kate Winslet are amazing…

HOLD ME JACK!!!!!




Monday morning, I started to transform. DEATH was coming for me. While putting the finishing touches on my masterpiece, the symptoms of DEATH began. With only 5 hours of sleep, I decided to take a nap. A nap turned into a 6 hour sleep, waking up to the realization that I was not fit to stuff my face at the Mezz, sip Pinot Nior at Wine Society and dance the night away at WHY NOT? Tragic indeed. Thankfully, I can be pathetic enough to convince Sami to run to Tesco and buy me sherbert and cough drops.

I spent the next days indulging in Bones and a purely liquid diet. For future reference, in case of possible contact with DEATH, the following symptoms will occur: flu-chills so cold you resort to sleeping on your radiator, swollen throat-your tonsils will merge into one, a squeaky voice-inability to communicate with members of the same species, coughing-intense you sleep in stints as you hack up a lung.

However, there are perks to being the messenger of DEATH. One: other people bring drugs to lecture. Two: no one wants to sit by a coughing, sneezing, hacking invalid. Three: when your victims have succumbed to DEATH, there is plenty of extra room.